OPINION

Mis Dos Centavos
By Geo Bustamante

An Open Letter to Former Miami Heat’s Tim Hardaway

(Reprinted with permission from http://www.latinoboysmagazine.com/)

Dear Mr. Hardaway,

I am writing in response to your recent pronouncement that you hate gay people. I cannot help but wonder if you really understand the consequences of this recent display of bigotry so, I’ve taken it upon myself to enlighten you.

I am a college student, barely out of my teenage years and, ever since I could remember, I have fought an intrapersonal battle about my sexual identity. Since elementary school I have been consumed with shame, guilt and fear because of my attraction to the same sex.

As a child, I kept these feelings to myself and as I grew older and these feelings grew stronger, my anxiety and confusion increased. Mr. Hardaway, growing up was an emotional hell for me. Every time I heard the words faggot and queer I was reminded that, if my sexual identity was found out, I would be forced to wear these titles like some scarlet letter. More importantly, I believed I would be rejected by my friends, my relatives, and especially my parents.

So I kept my feelings to myself and endured in silence and alone. By the time I was 13 years old I was intimately familiar with depression. Mr. Hardaway, without going into detail, living the lie of trying to pretend that I was a straight teenager almost cost me my life…literally! My fear of rejection was greater than my desire to live. Why? Because I feared that people would respond to me with the attitude that you have. I was afraid that I would be hated.

I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. Through time I resolved that I had no choice but to admit it. Otherwise I would not be alive to see 21. I finally summoned the courage to tell my parents three months ago and, though they didn’t use the words hate like you used, their anger, sadness, and their shame of me was devastating. They gave me a month to get out of my house.

I am on my own now. I’m working three jobs and I’ve had to take a break from school in order to get my life together. But I am happier than I’ve been in a long time and I’m relieved to have this secret burden lifted from me. I’m lucky to be surrounded and supported by friends, gay and straight, who don’t hate who I am, and therefore, hate me.

Mr. Hardaway, I was shocked when you responded ‘yes’ to the radio interviewer’s question, “Would you hate a family member if you found out he or she was gay?” Having recently suffered the rejection of my parents because of my sexuality, I can only deduct from your response that you have conditional love for your family. It’s sad that, if you have children, they will always have to wonder what it would take to make you stop loving them. You did publicly say that your love has limits.

I’m not a basketball fan and I am not familiar with your NBA career. But you played for the Miami Heat and I’m sure you have many fans. Your disparaging remarks against gay people have the potential to embolden those of your fans that have the same view. It’s very possible that some of those fans might be encouraged to inflict emotional, and even physical harm, on persons they perceive to be gay.

Mr. Hardaway, you owe a lot of people an apology, including your family, business partners, friends, and fans. But more importantly, you owe every young gay person out there an apology for the potential harm you have caused. The children’s nursery rhyme that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” could never be more false. Often, Mr. Hardaway, hateful words lead to sticks and stones-emotionally and physically.

Respectfully,

Geo Bustamante
http://us.f526.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=latino_boy_geo@yahoo.com

Posted by Freedom Democrats on Friday, March 09, 2007 at 11:05 AM | Permalink